Friday, January 26th 2007
Getting Your Family Involved In Your Home Business
posted @ 1:02 pm in [ General ]
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Getting Your Family Involved In Your Home Business
by: Craig Binkley
Do you own your own home business? Is your family involved with your daily business? Yeah, I know at times it seems easier to just do everything yourself. It is an easy trap to get into. Why take the time to explain the job, show them how it should be done, make sure it is done properly, and then possibly have to redo the project if it is not done to your liking? Yes, we have all been through this at some point. The question is: what are you going to do about it?
You basically have two options: Do everything yourself or invest the time to get your family involved. For me, the second one is the ONLY option.
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First off, if you are doing everything yourself, you are probably spending a lot more time with your business than with your family. Secondly, you are depriving your spouse and children of the joy of owning a home business.
Why not take some of the burden off of yourself by allowing your family to help you in your daily tasks. Here are a few ideas that you can implement to start getting your family involved.
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SPOUSE: If your spouse is not involved with you in your home business you are missing a great opportunity to spend some much needed time with him/her. I know, this may not be everyone s idea of quality time with your beloved, but is it not better than the alternate you doing your thing and he/she doing theirs? My wife is my biggest supporter. She is the person I bounce ideas off of. She is also my proofreader. If your spouse is not in tune with what you are doing, do what you can to peak their interest and get them involved today.
YOUNG CHILDREN: Obviously there is not much for a toddler to do, but as they grow older you can give them small jobs to start out (dumping your trash can, sharpening your pencils, etc.) and continuing to give them more challenging jobs as they become more mature. No matter what the job, kids feel a sense of pride in knowing they are pitching in .
TEENAGERS: This is the group you need to get! There are so many things that a teen can get involved with (sports, music, friends, drugs). Wouldn t it be nice if what they are involved with were your business? If you have been giving them jobs as younger children then most likely they are already involved. If you are just getting started with your business and/or getting to those teens, try giving them some things that they might not expect that you would delegate to them (typing a letter or making a call to a supplier to place an order). Let them see that you have the confidence in them and they will respond likewise.
Our teen daughter makes her own jewelry so we decided to make it a part of our business with a section of our website dedicated to her creations only. After seeing this, our oldest son decided he wanted something to do, so he started making wood-burned signs. We added a page for him also. They both are very proud of the fact that the stuff they are making is actually on the web. It has gotten them very interested in what we do as a family business and allows us to get them even more involved as time goes by.
In conclusion, do whatever you can to get your family involved. Not only will it alleviate some of your workload, it can truly draw you family closer together.
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About The Author
Craig Binkley husband, father and home business owner assisting in the restoration of the traditional family through home business ownership.
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http://www.bornagainbargains.com
craig@bornagainbargains.com
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Tuesday, January 23rd 2007
Graduate School: Should You Go?
posted @ 1:00 pm in [ General ]
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Graduate School: Should You Go?
by: Stuart Simpson
You don t need to go to graduate school. This is true. You ve got your college degree and this will help you maintain a roomy house in a nice neighborhood. But what will a graduate degree do for you?
First, there is a little more money. Lifetime earnings average $234,000 more than an individual with just a bachelor s degree. But if you got a doctorate, then increase the amount by $504,000 above the master s level. Doctoral education along with the apprenticeship work can take 10 years or longer. And the 10 years are some of the most grueling work you ll ever do. So let s focus on just the graduate degree. Whew.
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Another reason for obtaining a graduate degree is to make yourself more valuable to your employer. They aren t going to can the guy with the MBA. In this age of layoffs and cutbacks, you need a competitive advantage over your coworker. Everyone is replaceable. If you think you aren t, better think twice. Just make it harder on your employer to find another employee with a graduate degree at your salary. See what I mean?
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Getting your graduate degree usually entails being motivated by some other source. I started my graduate program when I decided to leave my current job. I wanted that advantage over the next applicant when I found the job I was looking for. The people in my class were of the same caliber. Some were just getting the degree while they were still in school mode . Most of the others were like me, going back the 2nd time for actual learning and motivation to find something better than our current jobs.
But you don t need an MBA to get a job right? True, but it does make it a lot easier finding and holding a job you like and getting compensated for your education. I took a career path after college for several years. After a while, I realized I had time before retirement for another full and complete career of something totally different. Nobody says you have to work at the same place for 35 years. I know a lot of folks who do.
The main thing is you ve got time to decide where you want to go and what you want to be. Me? I quit that dead end job. I enjoyed my MBA classes so much I want to be a college instructor. Don t think I can handle the doctoral program yet, but in time. . .maybe. What are your interests? Find them. Set goals. You can do it.
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Sunday, January 21st 2007
Why Drug Abuse is Rampant
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Why Drug Abuse is Rampant
by: Karen Nodalo
In almost all over the countries across the world, drug trafficking issues are dealt with and are the most difficult case to resolve. Every year, the rate of drug abuse cases and trafficking has been mounting from its number. Be it young or old, it chooses no one. No matter how heavy punishments were implemented, still the government found it to be very impenetrable to stop such case.
The government finds remedy to this matter. Most drug cases involve the minor entity especially the out-of-school youth so they find it very hard to trigger. They lack knowledge and education for the use of prohibited drugs. Young minds curiosities are harder to comprehend and figure out. It is hard to cease because as long as there are hidden resources, still it spreads out unnoticed. Drug issues are immediately to be solved because it is an auxiliary in bringing out other pertinent and relevant cases such as murder and slaughter cases.
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Annual news about increasing number of addiction continues to inflate. How do we stop these cases? The public and the media have been very immune to hearing this inexorable problem and it appears to be not so very surprising at all. The larger it gets the larger chances of inviting associated tribulations not only in the community but for the whole.
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Drug prevention programs or anti-drug campaigns have been implemented and focused on but still, it is to no avail. Minor children who are in sheer addiction are subjected to isolation and rehabilitation. Why do these children involve to these problems at such a young age? The main reason for that matter is because they lack attention and guidance at home and the society. Treating children is a sensitive and crucial part. Every little change in the environment catches their attention and draws out to what they think is right. Peer pressure comes along with losing family ties that makes them feel unwanted in the community. Discrimination is also another factor that affects them emotionally. When they feel indifferent from the other youngsters especially those with a higher standard of living, they tend to seek attention resulting to mental, social and emotional distractions.
The law has been fatherly conducting reforms to sweep this case. The implication of this will initiate analysis and observation. Hidden plantations of prohibited drugs are not easy to locate and stopping them to manufacture evenly is a complicated task.
There is an underlying problem to resolving this issue. It has been found out that some law enforcers violate their rules. Implementing these laws is useless if they are the ones who abide the rules they make. Some use it to make money while some intend for their personal pleasure. Serious treatment to this problem should be treated to secure the youth from incongruity.
If such problems could not be resolved, so much for the underlying cases that goes with it. To resolve this, further observance and keenness is required not only for the institution but for the family which is called the training grounds of every person.
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Friday, January 19th 2007
Survival Guide for the Holidays
posted @ 1:02 pm in [ General ]
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How to Have the Most Fun Possible with Your Family!
Does your father act like an attorney, interrogating you as if
you were a defendant on the witness stand? Is your mother-in-law
the master of the subtle put down? Are you the roasted turkey
they carved up for dinner?
You love your family-yet dread the holidays because you know
that, following the usual holiday debacle, the main thing you’ll
be thankful for is waving goodbye to Mom and Dad, knowing you
have a year to recuperate.
How do you duck the potshots coming at you about your choice of
friends, lack of a career, and the way you dress, spend money or
raise the kids? How do you avoid the traditional land mines of
religion, politics and sex? How can you be honest with your
relatives and not dig your own grave? What kind of group
activities can you get the group to do that won’t lead to World
War III? How can play, fun and spontaneity help you run the
family holiday gauntlet? How do you put on the charm-and not the
pounds-at the dinner table?
Why not change those exhausting holiday dynamics by taking some
helpful tips from Relationship Expert Keith Varnum?
Here are some simple strategies that will not only help you to
survive the traditional family holiday visit-but actually enjoy
it!
PREPARING FOR THE VISIT
The Boy Scout’s motto, “Be prepared!” has never been more
helpful than when going to visit the family at the holidays!
Enlist Allies
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Form alliances with brothers, sisters and other relatives who
are sympathetic to your plight. Agree to run interference for
each other when criticism comes flying across the dinner table.
Hold mock question and answer sessions with your allies to
practice gracefully fending off the slings and arrows.
Prepare for Cross Examination
Get your answers ready for the questions you know are coming
about sensitive or touchy subjects. Have a ready response for
the inevitable “Do you have a well-paying job?” “When are you
getting married?” and “Are you eating enough?”
Know Who You’re Dealing With
Brief yourself and your date/friend on the idiosyncrasies of
your crazy uncle, your uptight aunt, your paranoid father, your
over-protective mother, your bully cousin and the off-the-wall
personal inquiries from the young kids in your family. Realize
that holiday gatherings are a time bomb waiting to go off. A
year’s worth of pent up, unresolved tension and miscommunication
show up at the holiday dinner table. Don’t become collateral
damage!
Neutralize the Opposition
The best defense is a good offense. Develop questions to ask
that you can come back with to throw off your detractors. Lead
the conversation into constructive, supportive and “safe” realms
by subtly shifting the focus of the dialogue with a quick
response from a “family-friendly” perspective.
Recognize Rivalries
Be on the lookout for subterranean rivalries between brothers,
sisters and other relatives that might rear their ugly heads
during dinner conversations. With lightness and humor, dance
around the landmines of old grievances and competitiveness.
Defuse Hot Buttons
Before the visit, email, write or call your parents with
carefully worded personal background information that will calm
your folks’ fears and pet peeves about you and your date or
friend.
Create an Exit Strategy
Warn your family that your stay might be cut short. Come up with
some good, socially acceptable reasons why you have to leave
early. Have several backup exit plans ready to execute on short
notice. Be real about how long you can handle being with your
relatives. It’s better to share fun and love with your family
for a few hours-than boredom and hard feelings for a few days.
Set Realistic Goals
Shoot for simply “surviving” the visit, rather than trying to
get everyone to like you and approve of your lifestyle. Better
to leave doors open to future communication than to burn bridges
with the older generations. Some new attitudes and social
customs take the folks a few years of repeated exposure to
become comfortable with. Many parents suffer from Chronic
Cultural Shock Syndrome.
SURVIVING THE VISIT
“Be of good cheer, the end is near!” You only have to dodge the
bullets of family expectations once a year-and you don’t have to
stay any longer than you can keep on top of the ruckus. Be light-
hearted, playful and flexible-and enjoy the family circus as
much as you can!
Creative Question Answering
You don’t have to answer the question that is being asked!
Subtly shift your answer to their question into a response
concerning a related, but different question-one that you’re
willing to answer. For tips on how to answer the question you
prefer, listen carefully to interviews with politicians and
celebrities.
Take the Fifth
If you don’t feel capable of safely answering a question, tell
them you’re not clear enough on the situation to give them a
response right now. If they don’t let you off the hook, develop
a bladder emergency or “accidentally” spill your drink on
yourself. Watch cocktail party scenes in old movies for skillful
hints on how to escape any interrogation in a socially
acceptable way.
Turn the Question Around
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When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer,
simply ask them the same-or similar-question back. Or respond
with a totally different question-especially about a subject
that you know excites them. React in any way that will throw
them off the track. To pull off this tactic, you have to use
subtle skill. Add a dash of playfulness or humor and you’ll get
away with it.
Take the Japanese Diplomatic Approach
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If you can’t wholeheartedly agree with what someone is saying,
you can respond in the spirit of the famous Japanese phrase, “Ah-
So.” This diplomatic response translates literally into: “So it
would appear.” Without compromising your integrity, you can
respond to almost any relative’s narrow-minded statement with: “
I can see how you can see it that way” or “I understand how you
feel.”
Get Your Stories Straight
Make sure you and your date/friend are giving everyone the same
information about the same topics. Some relatives have nothing
better to do than compare notes on what’s been said.
Be Consistent
“This is my story, and I’m sticking to it.” Make sure all the
facts fit what your family knows about the rest of your life.
The “consistency police” are usually on full alert at family
gatherings.
Honesty is the Safest Policy
Eventually, inaccuracies and cover-ups tend to surface over time,
so being truthful-to the degree that you can-will serve you in
the long run. Study the pronouncements of politicians to learn
how to express the truth in the most vague-and least risky or
offensive-way.
Choose Your Words Carefully
Certain words act as trigger mechanisms activating touchy egos,
raw nerves, old wounds and painful memories. Use neutral,
generic words with hypersensitive relatives. Avoid overly
specific or graphic religious, political, racial and sexual
references. With some relatives, the generation gap can be as
wide and deep as the Grand Canyon.
Put Yourself in Your Parents’ Shoes
In the privacy of your own mind, see if you can relate to what
your parents’ perspective might be about a given subject and
adjust your response to allow the possibility of their point of
view-however rigid, shallow or intolerant it might seem to you.
Pick an Agreement
Find something that you can authentically appreciate about every
member of the family, and, if possible, compliment them on that
aspect of their lives.
Take Mental Health Breaks
Take strategic time outs when you feel you’re reaching your
limit of being able to cope with family judgement and scrutiny.
Go to the bathroom and splash water on your face. Go outside.
Get a breath of fresh air on the porch or patio. Take a short
walk and let the singing birds remind you that someone’s having
a good time today!
Volunteer to Get Lost
Volunteer for errands and duties that will get you out of the
house and out of the line of fire. Disappear into the kitchen to
wash the dishes. Empty the garbage. Go out to pick up something
at the store. Give someone a ride. These chores buy you brownie
points and at the same time give you the freedom and space to
blow off steam from the pressure cooker of family get-togethers.
Use the time to re-group and recharge your batteries.
Play Social Director
Suggest specific activities that allow everyone to happily
interact-however superficial or contrived it might have to be.
Group games, home videos, family album, tree decorating.
Remember, the goal is a good time for all, not the spiritual
enlightenment of your relatives!
Tap the Power of Humor
Wherever you see an opening, use humor, play, laughter and fun
to keep the festivities light and flowing. The holidays are,
after all, holy days-time to be spent celebrating the joy of
togetherness and the love that connects you with your family and
friends.
GOOD LUCK!
About the Author
Drawing from the wisdom of native and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his 30 years of practical success as an author, personal coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, restaurateur, vision quest guide and international seminar leader (The Dream Workshops). Keith helps people get the love, money and health they want with his FREE “Prosperity Ezine” at www.TheDream.com.
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Tuesday, January 16th 2007
How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
posted @ 1:04 pm in [ General ]
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How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
by: Scott Morgan
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Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case is a very important decision. The following are a few important criteria to help in finding the right divorce lawyer.
Experience and Focus
Any divorce lawyer you consider should have substantial experience in handling divorce cases in your location. An experienced divorce lawyer will know the tendencies of the various judges in your jurisdiction and should be able to use this knowledge to your advantage. Additionally, that lawyer should practice primarily in the field of divorce law. Often people will hire a lawyer who practices primarily in some other area, thinking that any lawyer will do. However, divorce law is a very specialized field that requires particular skills and experience in order to have a likelihood of reaching a successful conclusion.
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Past Client Testimonials
Perhaps the best way to decide which divorce lawyer to use for your divorce case is to find out what former clients have to say about that lawyer. While divorce is never an enjoyable process, some divorce lawyers have more success at satisfying their clients than others. If you do not know someone who has been a client of that particular divorce lawyer, you should consider asking the lawyer for a list of clients that you can contact who can describe their experience with the lawyer. While client confidentiality is important, any good experienced divorce lawyer should have at least a few former clients who are willing to vouch for him or her.
Accessible
When a client becomes dissatisfied with a divorce lawyer, one of the most common complaints is that they were unable to communicate with the lawyer. It is very important that your divorce lawyer be accessible and prompt in responding to your phone calls, emails, and requests for meetings. While you can ask the divorce lawyer about their office policy, this is another area where you can best evaluate the divorce lawyer by hearing what former clients have to say.
If a former client of the lawyer tells you that they found it very difficult to contact the attorney, or that the lawyer either did not return calls or respond to emails or would take several days to do so, you should definitely avoid that lawyer. Divorce is an unpleasant and frustrating process under the best of circumstances. If you are unable to reach your divorce attorney, or at least someone on his or her staff, the frustration level can increase exponentially.
Fees
When you make your initial appointment with the divorce attorney, you should inquire about a consultation fee. Some lawyers do brief initial consultations for free, although most experienced divorce lawyers will charge between $100.00 and $200.00 as a consultation fee, or will charge their normal hourly rate.
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For example, I charge a flat $100.00 consultation fee with no additional hourly charges, regardless of the length of the meeting. Essentially, the consultation fee is to “weed out” those people who are not serious about the possibility of hiring me. Given that my normal hourly rate is $200.00/hour and the usual typical consultation takes about 90 minutes, the charge for my consultation is significantly discounted. Therefore, you shouldn’t let a consultation fee scare you away from interviewing a particular lawyer.
During the consultation it is vitally important that you have a candid discussion with the prospective divorce lawyer about fees and what you can expect. Typically, an experienced divorce lawyer will require the payment of a substantial retainer up front, against which that lawyer’s hourly rate and expenses will be charged. You should find out what that lawyer’s hourly rate is, what the up front retainer will be, whether any portion of the retainer is refundable if it is not exhausted, and how often you can expect to receive invoices that detail their hourly charges and expenses. You also will want to know how detailed the invoices are. Once again, this is another area where you can get excellent information from those people who have been clients of that divorce lawyer.
Comfortable
While all the above issues are important, there is one final question you should ask yourself before hiring a divorce lawyer. Are you comfortable with that lawyer and are you confident in his or her abilities? If the answer is anything other than a resounding “yes,” you should keep looking. Your case is too important to entrust to someone who does not inspire your confidence.
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Saturday, January 13th 2007
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Friday, January 12th 2007
Rights and Obligations with Prenuptial Agreement
posted @ 1:01 pm in [ General ]
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Rights and Obligations with Prenuptial Agreement
by: Jeffrey Broobin
Prenuptial agreements are like insurance policies. You do the paperwork, and then hope you’ll never need it. However, since half of marriages end in divorce within the first seven years, you may want to consider a prenuptial agreement before you walk down the aisle and say, “I do.”
Since you could later be engaged in a nasty, costly, and emotionally draining divorce some day, you should consider a prenuptial agreement as a precaution. Below we have given you some information on what is in a prenuptial agreement and whether it could be useful for you.
A prenuptial or ante nuptial agreement is a document signed by two people who intend to be married. It describes their rights and obligations should they get divorced. A prenuptial agreement informs the court how they want their assets and property divided up.
Divorces become messy when parties cannot agree on the distribution of property, such things as the house, the house, stocks, and bonds and whether one party should pay the other alimony, now known as “maintenance” in most states. Assume that the husband has $1,000,000 in his own name prior to the marriage. A properly drafted prenuptial agreement can award that same $1,000,000 to him after a divorce, notwithstanding what he does with the money, such as purchasing a home in joint tenancy or shifting the money into other accounts. Without a prenuptial agreement, the wife might be entitled to one-half of the $1,000,000 or more, depending on the financial circumstances of the parties at the time of the divorce. The prenuptial agreement is a powerful and valuable tool that can favor the husband, protect the wife, or serve both of them fairly. It is a question of circumstances and intentions.
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Candidates for prenuptial agreements used to be just older individuals with huge estates that they wanted to protect from gold diggers for their children from previous marriages. Since more millionaires are born every day, the candidate pool is growing by leaps and bounds. Now everybody has something to protect: an unpublished author, the budding inventor, anybody with a lucrative profession or a good idea. So, before you dismiss the idea of a prenuptial agreement, assess your situation in life and your long-term future in deciding whether a prenuptial agreement is right for you.
Consider at length the nature and extent of your present and possible future assets. A prenuptial agreement can be a very simple document running only a few pages that segregates each party’s assets owned before the marriage, or it can be a very complicated document that runs dozens of pages because it deals with income and assets acquired during the marriage, the payment of debts, attorneys’ fees, alimony/maintenance, and other financial matters. The next hurdle is raising the issue with your intended spouse, a very unromantic event. It helps to get it over with early. Perhaps you could blame it on someone else, such as your parents who may want to involve you in a family business, or possible business partners.
If you have no one to hold responsible, just be honest. Tell your future spouse that you intend to be open, fair, and honest, and the fact that you will be revealing all your assets is a sign of trust. Assure your intended that he or she will be protected during the negotiation procedure and in the prenuptial agreement, and stress that the document is something you feel is necessary and wise before you get married. The most important thing is to discuss it earlier instead of later, so that the degree of pressure before the wedding is mitigated.
Couples do not usually break engagements because of disputes over prenuptial agreements. In almost every instance, the agreement is signed and the parties are married. It is also completely appropriate to state that you will not get married without a prenuptial agreement; case law has indicated that this will not invalidate an agreement if made before the wedding.
The best way to avoid charges of duress or coercion is to tell your future spouse early on that you want the prenuptial agreement. Sometimes, such documents are signed shortly before the wedding, but have been the subject of negotiation for months. A well-drafted agreement will recite the fact that, even though it was signed shortly before or on the wedding date, negotiations began much earlier. It is for clauses like this that you consult experts.
Eventually, a prenuptial agreement will be fashioned so that you and your future spouse both accept it. The terms may not be what you initially envisioned and may not be what your intended would want. But that is the nature of compromise.
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About The Author
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
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Wednesday, January 3rd 2007
When the Teacher Becomes the Student
posted @ 1:00 pm in [ General ]
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When the Teacher Becomes the Student
by: Joe Martin
A relationship expert once said that during an argument, there s usually three sides to every story: his side, her side, and of course, the truth.
This is something we must definitely keep in mind as teachers. As educators (especially professors), we have been accused of having the biggest egos on this side of Mount Rushmore. One of the quickest ways to burn out in education is to refuse to embrace change. Whether we want to admit it or not, life moves and changes constantly.
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Students are constantly exposed to material we once never dreamed existed. Ironically, although students are exposed to more, they typically know less and are less mature than the generations before. However, that does not discredit the fact that students still bring a unique perspective to our classroom; it s through their eyes that we can become better teachers.
One of my best strategies for maintaining a high level of motivation in the classroom came as a result of a technique I learned as a stockbroker and sales trainer. Rule #1 in sales is that in order to bring the customer to where you are (your level of understanding), you must first go to where they are (they re current level of understanding). In simple terms, you must know your customer (in this case, your student). This simple principle recharges and rejuvenates my batteries every semester; because the more I know, the more I grow.
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Relating this concept to the education arena, you must simply and clearly define your objectives and what you would like to see happen over the course of a semester (or even a brief interaction) with a student, and then you help your students to do the same. In other words, know where YOU want to go, help them find out where THEY want to go, and then come up with a strategy for both of you to get there. In negotiating terms, they call this a win-win solution. Obviously, this strategy can only work if you value the student, and you believe he or she can make you a better teacher.
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For instance, during my first three years in education, I quickly realized that what I wanted and what students believe they needed were diametrically opposed to each other. However, after many personal talks with former students, I soon discovered that students weren t as concerned with the subject matter itself as they were with how the subject matter was being taught. They were more concerned with my attitude than the answers I would give them. This was a revelation.
I came to the conclusion that, like a parent, my experience and education dictated that I was qualified to teach them what they needed to know to succeed. However, when it came to how they received the information, I was totally at their mercy. Because, regardless of how good or important the subject matter is, if no one is listening, then no one is learning. It was at that point that I decided to go to where they were in order to bring them to where I was.
I met individually and collectively with students to get their perspectives on the class. I asked them about what worked in class and what didn t? I asked them about what they would like to see more or less of? What would they like to see changed (about myself and/or the class)? I asked them if whether or not they would recommend this class to another student, why or why not? I asked them what would make the class more productive and more interesting? These questions can be asked in almost any work environment, for almost any department, not just in the classroom. I asked similar questions of my clients when I was in Corporate America.
All of the input I received, except for the individual meetings, were done anonymously. I can t begin to tell you how important this information has been to my career. But in less than a year after implementing this idea, I was nominated twice for the distinguished teaching award at my school (the youngest ever nominated).
If you want to become a more productive educator in or outside of the classroom, the key is student input you must seek it. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results. If you listen to and solicit feedback from your students, you won t have to repeat the mistakes of the past. So value your students and their input; trust me, they hold the keys to your success.
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About The Author
Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today!
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Tuesday, January 2nd 2007
A Special Kind Of Love
posted @ 1:01 pm in [ General ]
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A Special Kind Of Love
by: Kirsten Hawkins
My grandmother taught me to crochet the moment my clumsy, chubby fingers could hold a crochet hook. By the time that I was six, she handed me her sewing needles to thread for her because her eyes could no longer see the needle’s eye. When I was eight, my mother spent all of her precious off-work night-time hours making me a spring wardrobe that I can still describe in minute detail, right down to the rick-rack that trimmed the red kerchief that matched the tulip sprigged sleeveless dress. I can recall precisely the colors and patterns of the nightgowns my grandmother sewed for me. My brothers will tell you that they’ve never worn anything so warm and comfortable as Nana’s knitted socks. I even remember the weight of the stocking cap my mother knit to match the checkerboard cardigan - that matched the blue one she knit for my brother.
There is a magic in handmade clothing that transcends the colors, the styles, even the quality of the handiwork. It’s as if every stitch and every knot was imbued with the love of the hands that crafted them. And so it was only right that when I was carrying my first child, I picked up crochet hook and thread and started making the clothing she’d wear home from the hospital.
I didn’t stop there, though. Making clothing for babies is more than a way to save money or create unique clothing styles. It’s a way to surround them with love, to weave your wishes into the fabric as you shape and create each piece.
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Over the years, I have sewn, knit and crocheted sweaters, sunsuits, dresses, short sets, blankets, quilts, hats and pants for all five of my children. Beginning with their homecoming outfit, each of them had special clothes that I’d designed and created just for them. I would say that it is perhaps a conceit, a fond wish of my own that my feelings about dressing my babies with my own hands would have transferred themselves to my children - except:
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A month ago, I dropped by my daughter’s apartment. The baby girl I dressed in a strawberry printed romper - each stich carefully placed by hand, each with a whispered wish and a blessing for her good fortune - is 22 now, a college graduate with a home of her own. Tossed over a table in the corner is a blanket I crocheted for her when she was three from odds and ends of yarn. On her walls are pictures of herself wearing a sweater I made for her - the same sweater, at 3, at 5, at 7. The same sweater now clothes the teddy bear sitting on her dresser.
Except:
My 19 year old son, fully grown and living on his own, still owns the knit baby blanket that wrapped him on his trip home from the hospital. He creates and makes his own clothes - imaginative and unusual - and in the patches on his jeans and his jackets, I find bits and pieces of shirts and shorts and sweaters I made for him over the years.
My 15 year old has tucked away the first party dress I made for her - when she was six months old. She never said a word to me about - I found it in her ‘treasure memory box’. And the two youngest boys? At 10 and 12, they each have their favorite blanket - ones that I knit for them when they were born.
There is magic in your hands when you create clothing for your baby, the magic of a mother’s love that is never, ever completely forgotten.
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About The Author
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Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and parenting expert specializing new mothers and single parent issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.
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